by Brooke Shigley
Love — is wholly powerful. It can be wildly exuberant, shared between two people who dedicate a lifetime of energy and hard work toward its success, and love can be a tantalizing journey where hope dies over time. The beauty of love is its propensity to be full of joyous highs, and agonizing lows.
Not all relationships are created equal though. In fact, it’s not always the case that each person chooses to give back the same levels of love in which they are receiving. Yet, even in these scenarios, love remains advantageous for both individuals in the relationship. What is it about love that holds so much power over us?
Everyone has some desire to feel wanted and loved. It’s a feeling that could very well be considered a basic need. Love is so powerful that even in relationships where one person is more interested than the other, the less interested still has some desire to be wanted by the other. I have had this feeling in various relationships before, however, it’s been more so an opposite situation for me. Over the years, I’ve experienced the anguish of deeply loving others who didn’t necessarily love me back, or who could not convey it. What I learned from those relationships is that I needed to accept the power I held in my heart and mind.
Now, try not to get me wrong when I say I need to accept being un-loved or less-loved by others. I have complete respect for myself and fully acknowledge that I deserve back what I give forth. But what if my ability to look within and offer love and understanding to others is far different from what most are willing to give, or even capable of giving?
Internal peace is found through the power that comes with those abilities. I have learned to protect myself through thorough communication by asking partners what they want in a relationship right off the bat. After setting grounds, I don’t allow myself to want or expect back what they aren’t willing to give. If this isn’t a healthy option for me, then I will focus on building a lifelong friendship in place of intimacy.
Earning human love isn’t always simple nor a possibility in every relationship you encounter. That is the difficult part of dating and relationships. But there is power in giving love to those who do not reciprocate it. Revel in the capacity of your heart, open your mind to the thoughts and feelings of others, and use it to your benefit by showing grace and building beautiful friendships from it.